


flowers bloom only to fall

by 8moons2stars



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hanahaki Disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8moons2stars/pseuds/8moons2stars
Summary: Seungwan’s love bloomed on a cold, winter day.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	flowers bloom only to fall

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from a quote from Hotel del Luna.

[ ](https://ibb.co/THGRfHS)  
  


Seungwan’s love bloomed on a cold, winter day.  
  


They were sitting on the couch on one of their rare off-days, fingers tangled together underneath a blanket like vines that have finally found light. A nondescript variety show played on the screen, and Joohyun laughed at Seungwan’s offhand-yet-hilarious remark on whatever foolery was happening before them.  
  


Joohyun laughed, loud and childlike, and warmth rushed into Seungwan’s chest, straight to her heart. It was a laugh Seungwan had heard time and time again, but the warmth spiraled into wildfire, coating her lungs till they felt like they were bursting.  
  


She gasped out, unbidden, the sensation overwhelming, intoxicating.  
  


Fingers tightening around hers, Joohyun’s eyes glimmered with concern.  
  


_“I’ve never been in love,_ ” she heard the idol proclaim on the show.  
  


She choked out a laugh, struggled to her feet and pulled herself away from the unassuming Joohyun. Sealed her lips tight even as a wracking cough begged to burst free.  
  


She ran to the bathroom and closed the door just as reflex overcame her will. Coughed out blood-stained purple into the sink, the petals of the daffodil marred and beautiful, like her love.  
  


Seungwan let out a sharp, breathless laugh as she swiped at her mouth, her chest loosening just a bit.  
  


_Of course._  
  


She stared at herself in the mirror, smile speckled with blood, ignoring the frantic knocking for just a short while.  
  


_Of course it was her._  
  


_It could never really be anyone else._

***

Joohyun’s every touch became stifling since then.  
  


Every brush of her fingers a crank that turned to fill her chest with color, with suffocating purple.  
  


Seungwan wished to push her away, to forget, but more than that, she yearned to pull her close. Let Joohyun bury her roots deep into her heart and damn her to oblivion.  
  


It was a good way to go, she thought. The pain was oddly comforting, a reminder that she could love someone so completely. But she hated it, too. Hated the fact that her body craved love so much that she would die without it. That her body was so selfishly petulant when she had always tried to put others before herself.  
  


Joohyun could love whomever she wanted. Who was Seungwan to dictate that? How dare she have the right to?  
  


So, she buried every purple petal deep like treasured gold, for hers to see alone. To flush away the unrequited love she wanted to be proud of.  
  


It was when practice for their comeback began that she couldn’t keep up this ruse. Her lungs struggled to release every breath, let alone sing lengthy notes and heartfelt verses.  
  


Her members all came up to her, concerned, but she brushed them off. Even when she knew she had no other choice but to stop feeling this way, to stop the daffodils or risk her entire career, her _members’_ careers.  
  


Seungwan cried herself to sleep that night, wishing she could be selfish, _just this once._

***

Her manager is the first one she outright told.  
  


(Not counting the ever-perceptive Sooyoung, who embraced her from behind after breakfast as she washed the dishes in the sink.  
  


“Is it Joohyun-unnie?” Sooyoung whispered, the sound of the uttered name rendering Seungwan helpless against the onslaught of flowers, coughing them up all over the soaped-up plate in her hands. “I’m so sorry,” Sooyoung added softly, voice lanced with pain.  
  


They stayed like that for a while, as Seungwan’s tears turned the bloody daffodils into a splash of pink and purple.)  
  


She was immediately brought to a specialty clinic, the pulmonologist sympathetic but logical. She needed surgery quickly if they were going to push through with their scheduled comeback.  
  


The thought of not seeing the daffodils ever again, of not feeling her chest expanding with maddening pressure whenever Joohyun directed a smile her way left Seungwan feeling empty, like she would never be happy again.  
  


But she had to do it.  
  


And she believed that in this lifetime, it was the only cure.

***

_Three months later…_  
  


Seungwan twirled Joohyun around to the beat, laughing as the latter squealed at the surprise move that had her teetering on her heels.  
  


“Yah!” Seungwan earned herself a slap on the shoulder, but she only drew Joohyun in close, trapping her in her arms to prevent further bodily harm.  
  


Nose-to-nose, they breathed as one, the sparkle in Seungwan’s eyes filled with something akin to love, but not quite so. Not anymore.  
  


Joohyun blinked at her, face flushing at the proximity until she was gasping for air. Until she dragged Seungwan down to her knees as she struggled to breathe, tears rushing to her eyes.  
  


Seungwan could only watch on as Joohyun began to cough up red-tainted blue.

**Author's Note:**

> Joohyun’s flowers coughed up by Seungwan:
> 
> Daffodils – unequalled love, you’re the only one, the sun is always shining when I’m with you, chivalry, unreciprocated love, please love me
> 
> Seungwan’s flowers coughed up by Joohyun (although not outright stated):
> 
> Primrose – I can’t live without you, new beginnings
> 
> Just wanted to show that if idols had the Hanahaki disease, they wouldn’t have the luxury of time to wait for their love to be returned. (Even though she should’ve!!!)
> 
> I can’t believe I wrote some angst. Blame Wine by Taeyeon, like I said on Twitter lol. It’s short and possibly hopeful, though? If you can twist the ending to a positive light where Seungwan may have the ability to love again (like I would hahaha).


End file.
